Tips To Get A Girlfriend
Dating advice to boost you into a blossoming relationship!
The Power Of Indifference
Jun 24th
I’m out at a club. I tell my wingman Aster to approach these girls and do everything he can to get himself blown out.
“Hello, just wanted to tell you I’m a giant inflatable sausage. Fuck your mother. Who do you think lies more – retards or zombies?”
“What? Hahaha. Who are you?”
Aster tried really hard but couldn’t make the girls shut him down. They just liked him more and were more intrigued by this canny Englishman.
How could this be? If you’re like a lot of guys, you might assume that a woman wants a gentleman – someone kind and polite, who will treat her like a princess. Perhaps you even believe women want a man who will do whatever they ask and bend down to kiss their feet, worship the ground they walk on, buy them anything they ask for, and so on.
Of course, women want a man who will treat them well, however that normally comes secondary to things like indifference.
Why is indifference so attractive to a woman? A woman wants to know you’re not desperate or needy. If you are desperate, it indicates other women don’t want you, and therefore there must be something wrong with you (nothing you can’t fix, however)
Conversely, if you genuinely don’t care whether a woman accepts or rejects you, it demonstrates that you either already have women to make you happy, or that you don’t need a woman to make you happy – you’re emotionally independent. You are comfortable in yourself, and that means she can be comfortable in you (and hopefully you will get comfortable in her).
True indifference won’t come right away, but you can try this as an experiment. Talk to a girl in a club or mall. Try to make her walk away from you. See if you can do it, and the results might just surprise you.
Being A Gentleman, And Other Fairy Stories
Jun 17th
Let’s talk about “being a gentleman,” “waiting until she’s ready” and other fairy stories.
In general, the longer you’ve known a girl without sleeping with her, the more difficult it will become. If you don’t sleep with a girl early on, say somewhere in between your second date and by the second month of seeing her, she will probably classify you as a friend instead of a lover. And as every guy knows, the friend zone can be a deep pit which is extremely slippery to climb out of.
Women are much more likely to commit to a man they’ve had sex with, for many reasons. Things change when you have sex with a woman, because that is the moment when your relationship is entirely unambiguous. You are lovers, and that is something that can never be taken back.
It can be a matter of sexual compatibility. Some women just won’t want to take a risk by committing to a guy when they don’t know if he can really lay pipe. I once even had a woman explicitly say to me “I always try before I buy.”
You might believe in the nice girl/slut (or Madonna/whore) distinction. If you think that it’s somehow better to “be a gentleman,” to wait with a quality girl rather than fuck her brains out as soon as possible, or if you think that a girl is of lower quality because she had sex with you on the first date, that is something you’ve got to deal with. The truth is, nice, high quality girls love sex just as much as anyone. And if a girl does sleep with you on the first date and you judge her for it, you’re just setting yourself up to fail, and probably destroying a chance to get to know an interesting, beautiful woman.
If you are dating a woman who is a virgin, that may change the rules. She may have deep-seated beliefs about how it has to be special, or with a guy she’s dated for a long time and trusts. On the other hand, perhaps the only reason she is a virgin is because no-one has been man enough to take it. I’d be lying if I said I never took a woman’s virginity in a one night stand.
So how do you apply this knowledge? The first thing is, if you get a woman in your room, or even in your house, and there is any kind of romantic or sexual context, chances are she came to fuck. She wants to be fucked, and she might even expect it. She obviously trusts you, or she wouldn’t be there. So make a move. Lead strong. Make out, get physical, heavy petting, take off clothes. Naturally, if she tells you to stop, you stop. Take a break, relax, have a chat, and try again if you feel it’s appropriate. Normally it will be. Don’t let the fact that you just met her today or last week stop you having sex with her.
Secondly, don’t think that you’re doing a girl a favour by not having sex with her. If you ever hear a girl say that she doesn’t have sex on a first date, or the first three months of dating a guy – she is doing it for your benefit. She just wants you to make you believe that she is a high quality woman, and she’s afraid of being judged.
Lastly, don’t judge her for her sexual experience. No matter how many guys she’s been with, it doesn’t change the fact that she is here with you right now.
So get out and enjoy yourself!
Talk To A Lot Of Girls
Jun 10th
If there’s one single piece of advice I would give to someone who wants to get greater success with women, it would be this: Talk to a lot of girls.
I know this probably isn’t what you were looking for in tips on how to get a girlfriend. Probably wanted a couple of lines and tactics that you could take to a nightclub, use on a girl, take her home and put her on the mantle. Things don’t really work like that. Great girlfriends need a great boyfriend. To be a great boyfriend, you need to have the social skills.
For a guy just starting out, the level of social intelligence that women have can be intimidating. Think about this – while you were in the 3rd grade at lunch, playing soccer or Magic: The Gathering, those girls were hanging out, talking. For hours. And they’ve been doing that ever since. Chances are, if you don’t have that level of social experience, a lot of things that people do are going to baffle you. Of course, it’s okay to be baffled. But if you get overwhelmed, then you have a problem.
So you want a girlfriend, just one special girl. One precious snowflake. So do most guys – even most of the guys that have a lot of choice with women. The thing is, when you start to meet a lot of girls, you’re going to realise that the girl you thought was girlfriend material before, now just isn’t worth your time (or worth more than one night).
To get a high quality girlfriend, you need to gather the reference experience to get things on an even keel. You are going to catch up with the ladies’ level of social experience, and then you’re going to surpass it. It’ll get to the point where you realise girls are doing things to impress you, or trying to run gamey techniques like giving you a back-handed compliment to get your attention. You’ll think to yourself “How was I ever intimidated by these little girls?” But first, you have to pay the piper.
You’ve got to go out, three or four nights a week, talk to five or ten groups of girls per night, for a year. And maybe you’ll luck out and be able to find a great girlfriend before the year is out. If not, you’ve set yourself up for a win anyway. Even if you don’t meet a great girl, you still have the skills to expand your social circle and find one.
Go out and talk to a thousand girls, and you’ll have a new perspective on the situation.
Developing Qualities of an Attractive Man
Jun 5th
In my last post, I discussed what character traits you need to be more attractive to women. In this post I want to give you a few tips about how to develop those qualities.
For one, how do you develop assertiveness? If you’re a shy guy, it’s not easy to start being outgoing and assert himself. That’s why you’re going to take it in steps. First, you might start looking in the eye when you talk to people. Then, start saying hi to strangers on the street. Start a conversation with an old lady at the bus stop. Eventually you’ll find yourself talking to beautiful women in the street without even thinking about it.
When I first started meeting girls in bars, I set a goal to go for the make out with every girl I talked to. It didn’t always work, but it was a lot of fun, and now I never, ever feel nervous when considering kissing a girl. Maybe that exercise is not for everybody, but you can learn a lot from it.
Let’s say you want to develop your humour. For starters, there’s a great book you can buy called Comedy Writing Secrets: The Best-Selling Book on How to Think Funny, Write Funny, Act Funny, And Get Paid For It. The book will teach you exactly what makes things funny, and how to reproduce it. The other thing I would recommend is to start keeping a diary. Every day think of one or two amusing things that happened to you and write them down. Some guys like to memorise the stories after they’ve written them, then recite them to girls. I wouldn’t recommend that as it can come off very forced. Nevertheless, I recommend keeping a diary so you can develop that humorous side of yourself, and you’ll have a few ideas bubbling away of fun things to talk about with a girl.
These are a few examples of how you can develop your assertiveness and humour. Try them out, and if you stick with it, you’ll be meeting women with girlfriend potential before you know it!
Personal Qualities to Get a High-Quality Girlfriend
May 31st
If you’ve looked around the web for dating advice, I’m sure you’ve noticed that a lot of sites say the same thing. They say brush your teeth, hygiene is important, clean your room. “Nothing turns a girl off faster than an untidy room!” Maybe that stuff is important, and maybe it’s a bunch of bullshit.
The things that are really going to help you get a girlfriend aren’t in a dentist’s or housekeeper’s manual. (Though don’t use that as an excuse to let your teeth rot) The real thing you need to do, is develop traits that are attractive to women. Let me give you a few examples:
- Emotional independence. No woman wants a coward who can’t stand on his own two feet. No woman wants a mama’s boy. A woman wants a man who is capable of taking care of his own emotions, so she can feel secure in his presence.
- Humour. Most women want a man with personality, a guy who’s not too serious. Girls will love you if you can make them smile and laugh. A warning though: if you use humour constantly to keep a girl’s attention, she will see you as more of a clown that a potential lover. You need to relate to a woman person-to-person, not as an entertainer to audience.
- Assertiveness. Women can’t resist a man who knows what he wants. Why? Because he’ll take it. Be assertive, state who you are without infringing on other’s rights. Most guys I know that are successful with women or have great girlfriends, have never said the words “Can I kiss you?” They just go for the kiss and see what happens.
- Positivity. Everyone prefers to be happy. Everyone prefers to be around guys that make them feel good about themselves. Women are no exception. So be the guy that makes people feel good. As Dale Carnegie said, never miss the opportunity to give someone a compliment.
These are a few examples of key qualities will help you find an awesome girlfriend. Check back soon and I’ll give you a few ways you can start developing these character traits.